A couple of weeks ago I posted about my struggle with anxiety and how it had began to creep into my running (read about it hear). Hind sight is always 20/20 and when reflecting on the time period leading up to the anxiety attacks I began to have while running, I could see my bodies warning signs.
I feel like in a very small amount of time I have made a huge amount in personal growth in overcoming the panic attacks. The key was breaking the link between running and anxiety. Oddly enough, actual stress inducing events are not the cause for most of my anxiety issues. Its the fear of my own anxiety that seems to send me spiraling out of control.
So once a small amount of anxiety began to creep into my running, every time I began a new run it would trigger my anxiety. Each time producing a larger reaction until my worst panic attack, which I wrote about previously. I knew I couldn’t continue this process and enjoy running. So I had decided to step back before I could move forward. I received so many amazing responses, DMs and emails of others who connected with my struggles with anxieties. This made me feel so much stronger and less isolated.
Shortly after my post I had the Good Life Halfsy race, which turned into a tour of Lincolns finest porta-potties. The anxiety wasn’t going away that quickly. I came home a tad deflated but also a bit relieved. I know its weird, but not racing well took some pressure off of me for this training cycle. I was ready to move into unstructured base training and off season fun.
I ended up getting the flu shortly after. Laid up on the couch for a week. While recovering I ended up with an upper respiratory infection which didn’t completely lay me out but did make running nearly impossible without the need of an inhaler. The silver lining to this was a forced break. This gave me even more reason to listen to my body and back off on any structured running. Easing into things as I felt like it.
This past week was a huge break through for me in dissociating running and anxiety. I recognized my bodies need for rest and recovery. I was very mindful in running with friends and joining group runs while also adding in other cross training actives based solely on what sounded most interesting.
You can read about my weekly recap here
My plan is to continue with this plan though CIM. I will run California international for fun and less for time. I hope to cheer on my awesome friends who have big time goals and my father who is completing is first marathon. While also spending some time with the hubby child free.
I am not letting go of my goals. I will maintain my fitness and come out stronger. I haven’t set up a specific follow up goal race or start date for training. Right now I am focusing first on having fun and when my base becomes to grow I will look into a new goal race and the new journey I will take to get there.
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Check back tomorrow for my Blog link up #allaboutrunning